Amnon love/hate Tamar

2 Samuel 13

Why did Amnon hate Tamar so much after he had raped her? Amnon loved Tamar, he got everything he wanted, but SUDDENLY he hated her and told her to go.

I read my sister status on Facebook and it made me think what really happened there.

Let us start the journey of understanding.

1-2 Absalom, David’s son, had a sister who was very attractive. Her name was Tamar.

Amnon, also David’s son, was in love with her.

Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her. She was a virgin, so he couldn’t see how he could get his hands on her.

I already see problems here.

First : David's role as a father. David was a strong military leader. His focus was always on the battlefield. Thanks to the enemies that previous Israel generations spared, the ones that GOD told them to wiped out. David was never at home and when he did, he committed adultery with Bathsheba. This is the father that never given enough attention to his family. Started with this Amnon-Tamar problem and continued to Absalom's rebellion to overthrown David. David's family never has a peaceful life.

So I concluded that the first problem is the father figure in the family. So guys, please attend your family with enough love and time.

Second : .....so he couldn’t see how he could get his hands on her.

I think the main problem is Amnon himself. He really wanted to get his hand on Tamar.

I will give you explanation using modern term here. Amnon already consumed too much pornographic materials or even already experienced free sex.

His status as King's son allowed him to do almost everything. My best guess is that he already shopped around.

3 Amnon had a good friend, Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab was exceptionally streetwise.
4 He said to Amnon, "Why are you moping around like this, day after day—you, the son of the king! Tell me what’s eating at you." "In a word, Tamar," said Amnon. "My brother Absalom’s sister. I’m in love with her."
5 "Here’s what you do," said Jonadab. "Go to bed and pretend you’re sick. When your father comes to visit you, say, ‘Have my sister Tamar come and prepare some supper for me here where I can watch her and she can feed me.’"

Third : Amnon asked the wrong person for counsel.

Jonadab was exceptionally streetwise or in other word a very crafty man.

You don't go asking counsel to people that are very well known for their craftiness unless you are really up for the evil plan.

The plan made Tamar entered Amnon's room all alone. Amnon asked Tamar to sleep with him.

Tamar said No and proposed an idea that Amnon should asked the King for her hand in marriage and then Tamar will willingly sleep with him.

Amnon who was already high in lust didn't see the good proposal and consumed Tamar as if she was a whore.

And after that the Bible told us that Amnon hated her—an immense hatred. The hatred that he felt for her was greater than the love he’d had for her.

Why??

Now I really think that Amnon already get used to going to prostitution. Prostitutes always allow their customers to do what they wanted. They even let the customers treated them only as an object. An object that can't have feeling or even an opinion.

Tamar who was being raped, of course, will not give Amnon the satisfaction. Amnon has this "great idea" of sex that can't be fulfilled by Tamar. The disappointment was so great that it turned into hatred. Especially when Amnon looked at the crying Tamar, not like the prostitute who will give praises of how good Amnon in bed is.

Amnon already conquered his goal, treated Tamar like any other prostitutes, tell her to go.

21 King David heard the whole story and was enraged,

22 but he didn’t discipline Amnon. David doted on him because he was his firstborn. Absalom quit speaking to Amnon—not a word, whether good or bad—because he hated him for violating his sister Tamar.

See the problem with King David? He didn't discipline Amnon!

Later on Absalom killed Amnon and then rebelled against his own father!

Closing this, I will only say again that we have to attend our family with enough love and time!

Hope this is helpful!